Time Outs Do Not Work

The second strategy the most parents and teachers are very familiar with is the use of timeout. I particularly get a kick out of the concept of a time out. Basically, time outs are used when a child is doing something that he or she are not supposed, so the child goes and sits in a chair. Then, something "miraculously" happens where the child comes out of the chair and he or she say sorry and never does it again. Truth be told, this is what people believes works...

Parents/Teachers believe that a child who goes over and punches his or her brother in the face and takes a toy, that if you sit the child in a chair for one minute per age, that six minutes of "doing their time" the child is going to know what to do differently next time. This is really absurd to me.

Especially when you add to the fact, what the gurus don't tell you in literature when you read about time outs. They won't tell you that there is a whole power struggle to get the child into time out. That is just problem #1.

Problem #2 what they don't tell you is how to get the child to stay in time. It becomes a complete power struggle of bringing them back and forth, lugging them over, and you start to ask question like...how do I keep them in the chair?

So what do the gurus say? They say to tell the child, "If you don't stay in your chair then I (the parent) will add minutes to your time out. Even better that the time out "will not begin until they are sitting still".

As you have all seen on Super Nanny, and we have seen in general from our own experience, is that time outs last forever! Something that should be 3 minutes turns into an hour and half...2-3 hours...and really what is the point?

Do you really think 3 hours later the child has a clue as to why he punched his brother in the first place? And do you know why you are sitting their wrestling back and forth with your child. No, it becomes a complete mess!

Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child's out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?

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